Before I start working together with my clients, they often say: "Tajda, until now, I haven't been able to stay committed and focused on my vision. How do I make sure that I'm not going to give up or get side-tracked? I want to stay consistent and finally see some progress and a real change."
Many of them feel stuck in a corporate job they don't enjoy or live a life that doesn't feel fulfilling, but they have a vision of doing something meaningful in the world, something they're passionate about while having the freedom to travel, to organize their days as they want to, to spend time with their family & friends...
What they're often challenged with though is taking consistent steps to create what they dream of (whether that's a side business / new career / publishing a book / regular content creation that they enjoy & that serves the world / establishing a new healthy habit etc.).
They know what they want, they know they don't want to stay where they are, but they're often lacking the consistency that will bring them to where they want to be.
Why is consistency so important?
If you want to achieve anything, taking consistent small steps is one of the main pillars of success (along with strategy, transformational inner work & personal responsibility).
When you show up consistently for your dream + do the inner work, you will arrive at where you want to be. Maybe not in the timeline that you had in mind, but you will arrive (the timeline is not in your control, but the actions you take are).
"The commitment to show up consistently will change your life." - Alyssa Nobriga
Consistency builds trust in ourselves and it helps you improve & get more confident in what you do (and if your goal is connected with other people, it builds their trust in YOU because they can feel that they can rely on you).
I love the concept of the compound effect, which says that small, seemingly insignificant actions that we consistently do over time lead to more progress (plus exponential growth & results) than taking one step every once in a while (see The Compound Effect, Darren Hardy).
But consistency also helps create safety & stability and it sends a message to the universe that this is important to you (because you are putting so much of your energy into it, even when it's challenging).
Why is it so easy to fall off track and give up?
Most people make the mistake of thinking that if they fall off track, they already screwed up and so they give up altogether.
But what they miss is that they've often set themselves up for failure from the very beginning by setting extremely high standards that leave no room for mistakes / a bad day and when they do fall off (which is inevitable because the standards are so high and life is bound to happen), they feel like they failed and have no motivation to continue.
It's never too late to hop back on, even if you pressed pause on your vision for months / years. In my experience, what's even more important than consistency is getting back on after you fall off. Because you will fall off, no doubt about it.
And when you do, that's life testing you to see how important this is for you. If this is something that's truly important, you will keep on getting up.
For me, consistency doesn't mean doing everything perfectly exactly as planned all the time, it's more about regularily showing up for what matters to you the majority of the time, hoping back on track when you fall off and being compassionate with yourself in the process.
⚠️ In my experience, consistency becomes a challenge if we:
set the standards way too high and therefore increase the pressure to deliver (for example, 'I'm going to transition into a new career in the next 3 months')
have the need for it to be perfect vs having it be done (for example a business plan, website, social media content, etc.)
focus on too many things at once (often leads to overwhelm and procrastination)
don't give ourselves permission to fall off track or make mistakes
don't address the inner blocks that may be stopping us from being consistent (fear of failure, self-doubt, inner criticism, perfectionism...)
focus on the outer goal vs the inner goal ('I want to have a new job vs I want to feel fulfilled in my work & do something meaningful')
focus too much on our blocks and fears vs how our showing up consistently serves the world / wider community
"Your commitment to service needs to be bigger than your own bullshit." - Kristin Constable
The invitation is to be consistent, but how do we get there in an aligned and graceful way, without pushing ourselves past our limits?
💪 Set yourself up for success, not failure:
lower the bar and start with small, easy steps, especially in the beginning (this will help build trust in yourself)
See what helped you stay consistent in the past: was it having accountability, a vision that resonated with you?
Notice where you're already consistent in your life. What's helping you be consistent, for example, with your workouts, but not with your website?
💪 Experiment with what works for you vs deciding that this is it.
It's so much easier (and kinder to ourselves) to give ourselves a smaller period of time to test out our "strategy" and then reflect back on how it worked & adjust it vs blindly going with one strategy.
We won't know what works for us until we try, so try out different things until you find a system that works for you.
💪 Do the inner work!
I can't stress this enough. It may be that we just need the right strategy, but more often than not, there are inner blocks that are trying to prevent us from moving ahead with our vision.
Know and expect for those to show up and if you find yourself getting stuck, get support. Yes, you can do it on your own, but getting support helps you shortcut the curve vs trying to figure it all out on your own.
💪 Be compassionate with yourself through the process and plan that you will fall off track because life happens. It's much more about getting back in the game as soon as possible vs blaming and judging yourself for falling off.
💪 Know that you WILL improve over time. In the beginning, consistency is more important than quality / having it be perfect. We learn the most by being in action and making mistakes.
💪 Ask yourself: How could this be fun & light & easy? It doesn't have to be hard and complicated. How would it look like if it were easy?
💪 Try this reframe: how does my being consistent serve others? It serves us to focus on how our being in action could help the world vs staying stuck in our own limitations.
Difference between excuses and life happening
Sometimes life will happen, sometimes we'll be exhausted, sometimes we won't want to do what we committed to.
I'm not a fan of pushing through because experience has taught me that it doesn't serve us if we don't listen to our bodies and that at some point we will have to pay the price for it.
But there will be times when we'll be coming up with excuses and I want you to pay attention to that. You will know exactly when that is (you'll recognize this especially when you have time / could make time if need be, but you choose something else).
The ego is strong and it will often do anything to lure you into not doing it. "It's too late now. No one will care. You can do it tomorrow. What difference will a day make?"
If it's an excuse, again - be compassionate with it. It's here for a reason. But you do have to look at what's happening in your inner world because when something matters to you, you make time for it.
🧑🏽🔬 And when you're not, it's your job to see what's really at play here:
it could be something in your unconscious that's blocking you, like an upper limit or a competing desire ("if I make time for this, I won't be able to have the freedom I want")
it could be fear of failure, self-doubt, not trusting in your skills...
Whatever it is, this needs to be addressed in order for you to move forward with ease and grace and for you to find an aligned way of working toward your goals. If not, it will keep on blocking you and keep you stuck in place. 💪
There you go. I hope this article serves you and helps you with putting structures in place so that you can be consistent and committed to your vision.
What was your biggest insight about consistency from this article? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments. 👇
With all my love & gratitude